Do negative or unhelpful thoughts ever overwhelm you, repeat in a loop, become obsessive, demand attention or try to sabotage you?   Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) might be the answer.

"ACT gets you in touch with what really matters in the big picture: your heart’s deepest desires for whom you want to be and what you want to do during your brief time on this planet. You then use these core values to guide, motivate, and inspire behavioural change.  It’s about “mindful” action: action you take consciously, with full awareness – open to your experience and fully engaged in whatever you are doing." – Russ Harris

While it’s quite normal to think all sorts of thoughts, it can be exhausting to get stuck in a downward spiral. Did you know we have around 60,000 thoughts per day? and the majority of these are negative worrisome/disempowering (for a lot of people).

Thoughts are magnetic and one negative thought leads to another. It’s a mind thing, a process that is well documented. The human mind is capable of imagining great things, and it’s also capable of imagining terrible things. The brain repeats patterns and will latch on to anything you think regularly, creating a habit.

The thing is, most thoughts come and go, you don’t generate them, you don’t choose them, they just appear in your mind as words or images, but FUSION with your thoughts creates problems. (Fusion means getting entangled, getting stuck, buying into or believing what your thoughts are telling you and going along with the story). DEFUSION, on the other hand, means disentangling or separating from your thoughts, with the aim of being a bit more flexible and giving yourself a better choice. You are not your thoughts.

Many people who suffer from anxiety will go to great lengths to avoid, deny, suppress, or escape from unwanted thoughts and feelings. If this worked, why is there an increase in anxiety all over the world? This kind of thinking is unworkable.

A great way of dealing with disempowering thoughts is to mindfully accept them for what they are, just thoughts, accept your feelings as appropriate in the circumstances, and show yourself compassion. Then, carry on doing something that is in line with your values.

As an experiment, do the following exercise and be curious about your ability to change, in small and big ways, and how change can come when we focus on what we can do, rather than on what we can’t do.  It's best to give yourself some time and not to rush this exercise.

1. Take a few slow deep breaths, tune in to the present moment accepting that things are the way they are, at this moment in time, without judgment or criticism, without having to debate or challenge your experience, without anything having to be right or wrong.
2. Become the observer and notice the mind chatter that goes on most of the time. Notice your feelings and your emotions. Also notice your physical body, sensations like tension, or relaxation etc.
3. What story are you telling yourself? What are you saying beginning with "I....." and what are you telling yourself about the situation
4. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even if they are painful or make you feel vulnerable.
5. Now begin to notice what's actually happening inside and outside of you. Tell yourself what you are noticing, for example, "I am noticing stiffness in my shoulders; .... I am noticing that I am overthinking .... I am noticing that I feel a bit down and anxious,... I am noticing I feel grumpy… I am noticing I am worried about the future"...etc. Whatever it is, give yourself some space, take your time and lean in to the feelings.
6. Next think about your values in life and what value you would like to move towards, for example healthy living, confidence, loving relationships. Is it your intention to carry on the way you are or is it your intention to think and do something that will improve your life in a meaningful way. Can you allow yourself to accept what is and take valued action anyway?
7. What can you do now? Commit to taking inspired action in line with your chosen value on this occasion.
8. Visualise yourself rising up, adopting the mindset of someone that can do the things you want to do – “Your Ideal Self”, the you who is already living a life defined by your vision of the future. One small step is all that is required. One step in the right direction.
9. Now, adopt the habit of pivoting towards the things that will enrich your life, one day at a time.
10. When you have finished, open your eyes and do that thing.

Let me know how you get on and if you find this exercise helpful, or if you have any questions. I’d love to hear from you.

If you would like some guidance to live a more enriched and purposeful life, I’m here to help.