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For hundreds of years, people have tried to understand hypnosis and come up with a logical explanation about what it is and what it isn’t, but the best way to find out more about hypnosis is to experience it for yourself.

One of the curious thing about hypnosis is, it’s not about what you think and it’s not about what you don’t think, but rather what goes on beneath the thoughts, in the place where beliefs, habits and responses are formed.

“The mind that opens to new ideas never returns to its original size” – Albert Einstein

Hypnosis puts you in touch with wonderful feelings like calmness, tranquility and peacefulness, connecting you directly with a whole host of resources like confidence, motivation and optimism that already exist, inside of you, ready to be tapped into.

Whatever you want to achieve, hypnosis can help you to access the resources needed.

From becoming Assertive to getting into the Zone, there is a A-Z of things you can do with hypnosis.

In that comfortable place between waking and sleeping, when your brainwaves slow down, you experience an increase in relaxation, causing the muscles to feel loose and heavy. Stress hormones switch off as the relaxation response switches on.  Just like drifting into a daydream, you may lose track of time for a short while, as if time is of no importance, and everyday worries just seem to fade into the background.

Here, the transformative process of hypnosis helps to bring about positive changes in your life.  All that is required is an open mind, positive expectancy and a willingness to suspend judgment while you relax in the comfort of the Hypno-chair.

Hypnotherapy facilitates the process of 5R:

• Release – trauma, anxiety, stress, anger, grief, guilt, shame
• Reset – calmness, confidence, motivation, optimism, joy
• Renew – values, intentions, goals, wishes
• Restore – emotional resilience, inner peace, harmony, balance
• Rejoice – in the wellspring of compassionate self-care

If you would like to experience hypnosis and benefit from the 5R Formula, book your session with me: mary@innerspacehypnotherapy.co.uk

Mary Bowmer February 2024

Do negative or unhelpful thoughts ever overwhelm you, repeat in a loop, become obsessive, demand attention or try to sabotage you?   Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) might be the answer.

“ACT gets you in touch with what really matters in the big picture: your heart’s deepest desires for whom you want to be and what you want to do during your brief time on this planet. You then use these core values to guide, motivate, and inspire behavioural change.  It’s about “mindful” action: action you take consciously, with full awareness – open to your experience and fully engaged in whatever you are doing.” – Russ Harris

While it’s quite normal to think all sorts of thoughts, it can be exhausting to get stuck in a downward spiral. Did you know we have around 60,000 thoughts per day? and the majority of these are negative worrisome/disempowering (for a lot of people).

Thoughts are magnetic and one negative thought leads to another. It’s a mind thing, a process that is well documented. The human mind is capable of imagining great things, and it’s also capable of imagining terrible things. The brain repeats patterns and will latch on to anything you think regularly, creating a habit.

The thing is, most thoughts come and go, you don’t generate them, you don’t choose them, they just appear in your mind as words or images, but FUSION with your thoughts creates problems. (Fusion means getting entangled, getting stuck, buying into or believing what your thoughts are telling you and going along with the story). DEFUSION, on the other hand, means disentangling or separating from your thoughts, with the aim of being a bit more flexible and giving yourself a better choice. You are not your thoughts.

Many people who suffer from anxiety will go to great lengths to avoid, deny, suppress, or escape from unwanted thoughts and feelings. If this worked, why is there an increase in anxiety all over the world? This kind of thinking is unworkable.

A great way of dealing with disempowering thoughts is to mindfully accept them for what they are, just thoughts, accept your feelings as appropriate in the circumstances, and show yourself compassion. Then, carry on doing something that is in line with your values.

As an experiment, do the following exercise and be curious about your ability to change, in small and big ways, and how change can come when we focus on what we can do, rather than on what we can’t do.  It’s best to give yourself some time and not to rush this exercise.

1. Take a few slow deep breaths, tune in to the present moment accepting that things are the way they are, at this moment in time, without judgment or criticism, without having to debate or challenge your experience, without anything having to be right or wrong.
2. Become the observer and notice the mind chatter that goes on most of the time. Notice your feelings and your emotions. Also notice your physical body, sensations like tension, or relaxation etc.
3. What story are you telling yourself? What are you saying beginning with “I…..” and what are you telling yourself about the situation
4. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even if they are painful or make you feel vulnerable.
5. Now begin to notice what’s actually happening inside and outside of you. Tell yourself what you are noticing, for example, “I am noticing stiffness in my shoulders; …. I am noticing that I am overthinking …. I am noticing that I feel a bit down and anxious,… I am noticing I feel grumpy… I am noticing I am worried about the future”…etc. Whatever it is, give yourself some space, take your time and lean in to the feelings.
6. Next think about your values in life and what value you would like to move towards, for example healthy living, confidence, loving relationships. Is it your intention to carry on the way you are or is it your intention to think and do something that will improve your life in a meaningful way. Can you allow yourself to accept what is and take valued action anyway?
7. What can you do now? Commit to taking inspired action in line with your chosen value on this occasion.
8. Visualise yourself rising up, adopting the mindset of someone that can do the things you want to do – “Your Ideal Self”, the you who is already living a life defined by your vision of the future. One small step is all that is required. One step in the right direction.
9. Now, adopt the habit of pivoting towards the things that will enrich your life, one day at a time.
10. When you have finished, open your eyes and do that thing.

Let me know how you get on and if you find this exercise helpful, or if you have any questions. I’d love to hear from you.

If you would like some guidance to live a more enriched and purposeful life, I’m here to help.

Emotional or mental blocks are often caused by trauma.

“Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” – Gabor Mate

Have you ever felt blocked, unable to move forward towards your ambitions and dreams? Emotional or mental blocks are often created in childhood when we are trying to fit in, be accepted, and loved as part of the tribe (family or community), or any time we experience emotional pain, feel stupid, judged or criticised.

A trauma is a painful experience that leaves emotional scars, it acts like a roadblock in the psyche. We try to move on, to move forward, but the trauma stops us. It can cause physical, emotional and mental symptoms to occur, making it really difficult to make progress in certain areas, for example, relationships or career. It can manifest as fear of failure, or even success, low self esteem, low confidence or lack of self worth.

“It’s not the world, not what’s outside of us, but what we hold inside traps us.” – Gabor Mate

Whether it’s a big trauma (Big T) or a little trauma (Little T), the brain creates a pattern for that, learning a lesson at a neurological level, and trying to avoid it again in the future.

Beliefs around trauma are formed and get reinforced over time that stop us from doing things we want to do, or do things we don’t want to do. Some people attempt to get around it by using coping skills, or with addictions, but symptoms still occur on the inside and can lead to anxiety, anger, depression or even serious health conditions.

The brain gets conditioned to act out patterns, reacting in the same old way, whether these patterns are helpful or not, the brain doesn’t care. It just reacts.

Professional therapy can help you to identify the blocks, release the trauma, neutralise and relocate the memory of trauma (place it firmly in the past) and recondition the brain with new empowering patterns of response.

This freedom enables you to connect with your real self, relax, discover a sense of inner peace, have the confidence to do the things you want to do and stop doing the things you don’t want to do, leading to happiness, better health and wellbeing.

What would you do with that freedom?

If you would like some help, get in touch for a free consultation.

#hypnotherapy #BWRT #traumahealing #emotionalwellbeing#confidencebuilding

Find excitement in the work you do

Welcome back after the summer. It certainly feels like Autumn, there was a shift yesterday, a slight nip that told me change is in the air.   We all love summer, but there is something special about the change of seasons. I love the freshness of Autumn. How has your summer been?

I took two weeks off to reset, reboot and relax. Back to work today with renewed enthusiasm and energy.  It was lovely to hear some good news first thing from a wonderful client who had a severe phobia that affected her life, big time:

⭐️ “My phobia has been better and hasn’t caused me any issues which is amazing and thank you so much.“⭐️

Work is love made visible

The Lebanese mystic and poet, Kahlil Gibran, said “Work is love made visible“.  Loving work is a choice. No matter what is happening, there is always an opportunity to tune in to the excitement that was there when we decided to do what we do.  What is your highest excitement? Are you following your passion? Can you list 5 things that excite you about the work you do?

I have great love for my work, and I follow my passion every day, doing something I love and helping others at the same time.

Here are 5 of my top tips for following your excitement and loving what you do.

1. Cultivate a feeling of excitement. Recognise the feeling of excitement in your body as the high level energy that takes you to an elevated state of being. We can find excitement in even small things, as long as one thing is more exciting than something else, we are choosing the highest excitement at the time. It doesn’t have to be something big like a roller coaster ride, it can be as simple getting absorbed in something you’re doing, being creative, phoning a friend, choosing to listen to someone inspiring on YouTube for 5 minutes, doing a quick burst of exercise, or just sitting down to enjoy a nice cup of tea. For me, the feeling is a fizzy sort of sensation that expands in my chest and radiates out, and I become aware of a humming sound in my brain – this is the neural pathways lighting up. Doing my work and helping others has always been my passion, and it brings me joy to know that what I do can change lives for the better. What does excitement feel like for you?
2. Lifelong learning. Learning something new is one of my top values, and I am always learning something new, through books, courses, interactions with others and online. Personal development for me is joy and I can never get enough of it. There is so much out there that we don’t know. And one thing leads to another. Very often, just learning one new thing and implementing it, can make a change for the better.  What are you learning that makes you feel excited?
3. Make real connections with others. This is the foundation of good relationships. I aim to connect with every person I interact with like they are the most important person in the room. People are so interesting and resourceful. It’s fascinating to watch how other people think, move and interact and how they cope with life’s challenges. Most communication happens non-verbally, from one brain to another, we pick things up subconsciously, feeling the vibes, the energy and the intention behind the narrative. Imagine what it would be like to be the “other” person and how they might feel interacting with you. Really listening to someone and showing you care is sometimes the best thing. How connected do you feel with those you interact with?
4. Be authentic. Sometimes being authentic can make us feel vulnerable, but this is ok. Showing vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.Someone once said, “Be yourself, all others are taken”.  And why not be your best self?  Show up, sparkle and be heard and do it again tomorrow.  It’s ok to make mistakes, but don’t let one mistake define you.  Just carry on doing your best. Many people worry about what others think of them, they fear being judged negatively or harshly, but what others think is their business, it has nothing to do with us, really.  It’s how we judge ourselves that matters in the end. How can you be more authentic?
5. Learn about your brain. Neuroscience tells us that 95% of everything we do is created by a subconscious programme. That’s the part of the brain that can’t think. It just repeats stored patterns of information.   That means only 5% of what we do is consciously controlled. The Frontal Lobe is the newest part of the brain, the place where we operate from, making decisions, being creative, talking, imagining.  Once we learn something, and repeat it often, it gets stored in the subconscious in order to free up energy for learning something else and surviving.  Evolution has ensured that we programme the things that help us survive.  When you talk about something that excites you, do your hands move? Did you decide that or did it just happen? Your body talks non-verbally, expressing things that you say or don’t say.   The brain filters out, distorts and generalises the information coming through our senses so our reality is filtered through awareness, focus, beliefs and values.  How much do you know about your brain? Knowledge is power.  If you want to change your brain for the better, learn how the operating system works.  The subconscious stores anything that is repeated often and offers it back as a habit pattern. That includes the kind of thoughts we think, and our state of being, negative or positive, so become mindful of what your patterns of thought and feelings are. The Frontal Lobe is where conscious control lives, but that’s only 5% of awareness, so be more mindful, notice your patterns and repeat positive thoughts often.

If you are not feeling love for your work, or excitement has drained away, something needs to change, either the job or the way you look at things. Excitement is another word for high energy vibration and we can always change our state of being by making some adjustments to our thoughts, our physiology and our focus of attention.

Can you list 5 things that bring excitement to your daily life?

Follow me for more exciting tips!

If you were a fly on the wall of your own mind, what would you hear and how would it make you feel?

We have roughly 70,000 thoughts a day – how many are helpful? Are you your own cheerleader or chief critic?

Your brain looks for evidence of what you think and believe and will try to prove you right, no matter what you think.  Positive affirmations are a great way to increase your confidence and boost your mood.  Hypnosis amplifies the effect.

 “What the thinker thinks, the prover proves”.  Dr. Leonard Orr

I am delighted to share my article on Hypnotic Affirmations, published in the Hypnotherapy Directory, just click on the link below to read more…

https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/hypnotic-affirmations

For more information or help with building a positive mindset, book a free call.

Hypnotherapy is more than hypnosis, it’s about empowering you to be the best you can be.

Does the thought of having a blood test make you feel faint?

Do you want to have a tattoo but couldn’t face having a needle?

Would you like to try acupuncture but the thought of needles freaks you out?

You are definitely not alone in this fear.

One of my clients said this recently, about how she overcame the fear of needles with hypnotherapy:

It may sound strange, but the habit of pulling out your hair is very common.

Many people do it in secret and it’s not only women that do it – men do it too!  It can be any bodily hair, including the hair on your head, eyebrows, eyelashes, or beard.

I am delighted to share my article on the subject here, published by The Hypnotherapy Directory:

https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/trichotillomania-how-to-stop-pulling-out-your-hair

If you would like some help, get in touch with me for more information.

Normal forgetfulness is a natural symptom of ageing, we all forget things from time to time, like where we put the car keys or where we parked the car. However, if forgetfulness is accompanied by confusion, difficulty in making decisions, or changes in mood or behaviour it might be something more serious like a NeuroCognitive Disorder (NCD).

It can be quite scary for anyone, older people especially, to think of losing their memory or developing an NCD.  Unfortunately NCDs are on the increase in developed countries across the world and research shows that lifestyle factors play a big part.

According to the WHO (World Health Organisation) the risk factors for developing an NCD include:

• age (over 65)
• high blood pressure (hypertension)
• high blood sugar (diabetes)
• being overweight or obese
• smoking
• drinking too much alcohol
• being physically inactive
• being socially isolated
• depression

Stress, anxiety, trauma and depression can also cause memory loss, lack of mental clarity, focus and concentration, in the absence of an NCD, so it’s always a good thing to speak to your G.P. about the symptoms so you can rule out anything serious or get the help you need.

The good news is that help and support come in more ways than one, and there is no time like the present to take steps to minimise the risks of physical and cognitive decline.  We all need to do what we can to remain healthy in mind and in body.

Hypnotherapy is safe and natural, completely drug free and it works alongside any medical diagnosis as it helps to promote physical and psychological wellbeing by providing a great number of benefits, including:

• physical relaxation and mental calmness;
• improved memory, clarity, concentration and focus;
• greater confidence and motivation;
• stress management and emotional resilience;
• help with planning and goal setting.

Every person is different and each individual needs their own person centred approach with a plan of action that works for them.

Here are 10 things that we can all do immediately to improve cognitive function and minimise the risk of developing an NCD:

1.    Eat a Mediterranean diet rich in antioxidants;
2.    Stay physically active, exercising daily;
3.    Stop smoking and give up or greatly reduce alcohol;
4.    Maintain a healthy weight;
5.    Keep an active mind, learn new things or do puzzles;
6.    Socialise and have more fun and laughter;
7.    Journal your feelings;
8.    Keep a diary and write down something nice to do every day;
9.    Before you go to sleep at night, think of 3 things to be grateful for that day;
10. Practice mindfulness in everything you do;

it’s not always about finding a cure to something but hypnosis helps to activate the best possible state of mind/body for healing and we can learn how to minimise and manage the symptoms, in order to enjoy life to the best of our ability.

The use of Hypnotherapy is supported by research from the University of Liverpool which found that hypnosis can aid in slowing mental decline and increase life enjoyment in patients with an NCD.

Whether it’s normal forgetfulness or an NCD, hypnosis can help to greatly improve cognitive function and enjoyment of life overall.

Hypnotherapy & BWRT Programmes available for Anxiety & Trauma Release; Self Confidence & Healthy Esteem; Stress Management & Emotional Resilience; Weight Loss; Addictions.

Face to Face In Person and Online sessions available.  Free Consultation. Milton Keynes & International.

References:

WHO

Science Daily

I have been noticing lately that some people believe they can’t prioritise their own goals because someone or something else needs their attention.  They never put themselves first and believe that others’ needs are more important than theirs.   I have heard many excuses for not sticking to a plan or not pursuing a goal, including:

• A neighbour was down in the dumps today and I couldn’t leave her on her own; 
• A friend broke up with her partner needed a shoulder to cry on;  
• A family member is going through a tough time and needed to be cheered up; 
• There was just too much to do and I didn’t have time;
• A colleague doesn’t get on with the boss and needed to talk to someone; 
• The dog just doesn’t seem right today.

… the list is endless.  

Putting others first can be altruistic and noble, but not at the expense of our own needs, dreams and desires. Very often, the focus on other people is, in fact, a type of self sabotaging behaviour.  Of course there are always exceptions, real emergencies are different. We can do our best to help others, but ultimately we are not responsible for their happiness. 

When it comes to being there for others, it doesn’t have to be  “them or me”, it can be “them and me”. 

Recently, a client of mine didn’t turn up for an audition to perform in a production that she really wanted to do, because her friend was having a tough day and she didn’t want to leave her on her own.  Now, that’s a lovely thing to do, but when it becomes a habit there may be an underlying subconscious agenda going on.   For my client it wasn’t the first time she did this, it had become a habit.  She realised she had an underlying fear of failure, and “putting herself out there” would make her vulnerable.   Spending the day with her friend kept her safe within her comfort zone and stopped her from failing. Her self sabotaging thought was “You can’t fail if you don’t try.” 

“Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of  success.” – Arianna Huffington 

Limiting beliefs are like STOP signs in the brain, but the truth is, a belief is not a fact and fear is not a real barrier.

So the question to ask oneself is  “How long am I going to give my life to others without pursuing my own dreams?”  or “When am I going to stop the self-sabotage and put myself first?”

My client was able to stop that destructive behaviour in its tracks by changing the way her brain responded to the idea of “putting herself out there”.  BrainWorking Recursive Therapy (BWRT) helped her to feel excited instead of fearful.  She decided that showing up and doing her best would be good enough, and no matter what happened it would be a learning experience and a great opportunity to improve her performance skills.   She is now looking forward to her next audition with excitement.  If something crops up like a friend in need, she said she will see her after the audition, or the next day, because she is just as important as her friend. 

When you are ready to overcome the obstacles that are stopping you from living your best life, you can identify the hidden agenda, free yourself from limiting beliefs and counter any self sabotaging thoughts.

Do you have a dream you are not pursuing? Are you making excuses for not doing something you want to do?   Are you telling yourself a story?

Ask yourself these 6 questions:

1. What am I not doing that I want to do?
2. What is stopping me from doing this?
3. What do I believe will happen if I do this?
4. Could there be an underlying fear of something or another hidden agenda?
5. How long am I going to let this sabotage my dreams?
6. When am I going to stand up for myself and do something about it?

If you need a little help overcoming limiting beliefs or self sabotage get in touch for a free consultation and find out how I may be able to help you.   E-mail mary@innerspacehypnotherapy.co.uk or put your contact details in the box below.